WHY ARE WE SO NEGATIVE?

It has been quite a while since I’ve posted anything and although this post seems to coincide with the new year, there really is no correlation.  I’ve spent the last few months trying to figure out just what my purpose is and where I plan to go next.  I know there is so much more to life than dreaming of what I can become and wondering if I’m already too old to accomplish anything significant.   When I look back over my life I don’t see the accomplishments, I see the failures and that is a big part of the problem.  I do believe that our minds control so much of our destiny and I have allowed myself to see the negative despite everything positive around me.  I can easily see the positive traits in someone else and I have no problem encouraging them in those areas, so why do I only see my negatives?

1. I compare my accomplishments to those of the most successful.  Of course I will feel inadequate by that standard.  I see the perfection in what they’ve done, not the work and the failures that got them there.

2. I compare my happiness to the happiness I imagine in someone else’s life and then wonder why I’m not that happy.  I’m not comparing reality to reality, I’m comparing my reality to an imagined reality.  Perhaps I should consider today’s happiness and ask myself what can I do that encourages rather than compares.

3. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m jealous of what I don’t have and I don’t necessarily mean money or recognition.  I know the life that I want and I spend more time thinking about what I want than actually doing anything about it. Lazy is so much easier in the short-term but time isn’t going to wait for me to get up off my butt and do something.  I don’t want to continue to wake up tomorrow wishing I had done something today.

4.  I regret my past.  We all have those things in life that we wish we could do over or differently or not at all.  Regret hasn’t helped me change anything or accomplish anything. Regret has robbed me of time and that is all.  Learning from mistakes and moving on and forgiving ourselves for those mistakes leaves the past in the past.  We can’t redo it no matter how much time we spend thinking about it.  Accept it, let it go and move on.

5.  I let other people’s opinions shape my own opinion of myself.  I don’t let other peoples opinions sway my own on politics or raising my kids or what to do with my money or possessions.  I will listen and if they make sense I do consider them, but I don’t automatically assume my opinion is wrong simply because someone else believes something different.  Why should my opinion of my own self be so easily swayed?

I will make bad choices, but that shouldn’t stop me from making any choices.  I will make mistakes, but the fear of failing shouldn’t stop me from trying.  I need to let go of the things I  have no control over and allow myself the freedom to be imperfect.

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